So, I'm not angry that I got pulled over today and given a 112 dollar ticket, nor that it took me 6 hours to get home.
Those two are certainly related, though. I was kept on that roadside next to a traffic ramp for almost forty-five minutes as the officer checked my credentials, kept their spotlights directly on me, and kept their hand readily next to their pistols. I suppose that I'm quite the intimidating figure, being a terrified looking guy in a shitty Jetta, thus the need to keep so close to their firearm of choice.
However, as I said, I'm not angry about it. Terrified at the possibility of the officer making things much harder on me, upset that I got caught and given a ticket, and disappointed in myself. But not angry.
The reason I'm not angry is similar to why I started this resolution in the first place- life is controllable to some degree by the actions one chooses to take. I chose to drive faster than I should have and got clocked being too speedy for the road I was on. I momentarily lost focus of my speedometer after nearly four hours of driving unfamiliar roads, and in that loss of focus I was nabbed.
Scary, though, is to think of what other consequences that loss of focus could have wrought upon me. If I hadn't seen a deer in the road, if there was a pedestrian, if there was a broken down car- it could have lead to deadly circumstances.
So, my only focus is that I made a mistake and paid for it, but not nearly as dearly as it could have been. And that is a point that has granted me much reflection.
Today, I was reminded that losing focus for a moment can have dire consequences.
Daniel, of course.