Sunday, June 13, 2010

Angle Two

This is done on the advice of a friend. Not in this way, but we all take our own paths.

I am a facade, an illusion I wish for you to see. Behind masks, walls, and smoke, I exist.
I feign whatever emotion appropriate for whomever wishes to see the emotions I seem to convey.
I feel pain, but not much else. Some days, it i
s welcomed.

I suffered a great emotional damage by my own hand that I cannot reverse.
I do my best to convince you that I'm someone who has it together- successfully doing so is my best defense.
I will lie to you- not to profit or injure, but merely to protect myself.
At the end of the day, I keep going off of inertia and promises already made. When my momentum runs out, so do I.

This is Dan in real life.

When I sleep, I am haunted by a fragment of myself. One that taunts and confuses me.
I believe that the only purpose I have any more is for the sake of others, to be an altruist. As an objectivist, this is the worst fate I can imagine.
I am going to continue until coincidence and circumstance brings me to a stop. I will keep walking until my legs
fall off.

I have no true purpose, no source of permanent happiness. The thought of having one seems foreign and gone to me. But I know it exists, or at least existed once.

I will become what I hate- when I do, I will no longer be bothered to care.

If you think you can help me, feel free to try. I warn that those who come before you have failed and I expect you to suffer the same fate of circumstance.

Investing in me is not a wise move, but it is your move to make.

Daniel, of course.